On May 29, 2020 my dad Eric Shippin passed away at the age of 91... I would like to think he is happy, and with my mother again. Perhaps they are sitting in a garden somewhere talking about whatever a mature couple talks about in private. Maybe Whiskey the cat, my mother’s childhood dog Bruce, and all the other much-loved pets who have joined my family over the past almost 100 years are with them. My parents were married for 59 years before my mother Edna Shippin died on October 24, 2014. In those years neither my brother nor I could ever recall hearing them say a cross word to each other. It truly was a magical relationship to be envied, and it showed the power of a loving relationship at its best.
Over the years several people have wondered why I never married and had children of my own. The reasons for that are many, including a considerable amount of bad luck, and my own personal folly. Yet beneath these obvious reasons, I really did not want a family with children. UNLESS I could give them a loving stable family environment like what my parents provided for myself, and my brother.
On a different note, since my father’s passing several people have suggested that it was “unnatural” for me to have been as close to my parents as I was. Others have criticized me for my “lack of preparation” for my Dad’s inevitable passing, some even hinted at my “emotional and mental stability”, and two people seemed to think I “deserved to be hurt and to feel some pain”. As hurtful and strange as these comments, innuendos, and veiled suggestions have been. For too many reasons to list here, I must admit, on some level perhaps they are deserved… However, in my mind I also view the special closeness I shared with my parents as some sort of blessing. Because just as they looked after me wherever I was, and during whatever was happening in my life. I too was able to look after them, especially in their later years as they became infirmed from age.
For an oddly funny moment. A friend suggested I was an “orphan” , a concept that as applied to myself "threw me off the track". But sure enough, on page 972 of the Chambers 21st Century Dictionary published in 1996, it defines an orphan as “a child who has lost both parents”. The etymology of the word Orphan suggests it comes from the Greek word “orphanos” which means “Bereft of Parents”.
As I type this “remembrance” in July 2020, I am still trying to sort it all out, and I am not really sure what the future holds. At the moment I do know that I am hurting in a very personal way, and while understanding what has happened intellectually, the emotions have yet to catch up to the intellect. In a way that I can’t quite explain, I feel very very confused by these horribly powerful emotions. At some point in the not too distant future, I hope to update this public bearing of my heart with how things have progressed in my world, and also provide some additional pictures of my parents. In closing, if I can offer one suggestion to everyone… Tell everyone who is close to you that you love them. It might sound trite, but it is actually very very important. I know I would pay any price to hear those words from my Mum and Dad, and to say it to them one last time in person.
Thank you again, and also for taking the time to read this remembrance.
Andrew Shippin
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